Human Diary


She writes
waits, in expectation
with a faint smile sometimes,
confused ofttimes.

We all know the 'personal diary'
the ocean where we can dump all,
good bad hates loves worries, all our feels
never refuses, always there with smiles.

But this, a new dimension
a reply, a response, a voice
it always understood our everything
now it can show its caring.

A twist, though
the diary has a life
its own problems, and joys
has a voice, but also the choice

Sometimes, she has to wait
it can do a lot more,
but no more obedient
'a voice with a choice'.

Hence, arise feels
different feels, colors
of our beautiful life.
She could share most, with the old one
but this one,it adds some.

World could never understand 'expectation'
the wait, the frustration attached.
Often neglecting the beauty,
when we do get them matched.

Forming small relations, unlike today s dove
born out of just, infinite trust,
surviving on nothing, but true love
defying all norms, all their must s.


So now she writes
not on a blank page
but on some one s life
some one s soul, some one s gauge.



PS: to my dear most reader, whose mind gave this idea, the concept of a 'human diary', I intended the lines to be entirely fictitious, but couldnt help as Fiction do needs real life inspiration.



Nov 19

SHE


a blank stare, beautiful eyes
challenging the past, not once but twice
she sat their alone, unaware
seeing through them all, questioning the y's


the perfect ratio, the beautiful match
eyes smiling before the lips can hatch
dont need to move much, to actually smile
fake lips if u want, eyes never give in to the guile



10-09-08

I started with following heroes n heroines.

took a while for the level when i began spotting 'acting' and then the various feels n emotions.

but as most of the learned, but honest, will confess, just when u start feeling confident that the delusion of 'u know it all' is infact a reality, u get the gift of the next 'level'.

many reach the 'delusion dilemma', few make out the difference and welcome the development.

so, then came a stage when i realised who the puppets are and who's the real creator of those feelings.



The art u manifest has your soul, whatever that art might be, it always reflects your soul.

and theatre is an art, has its soul, but to realise its soul, u must realise urs.

then u may see what REALLY is shown :)



Sometimes, u wonder 'are there others in pursuit of the same depth ?'

u observe some having the understanding , but rarey do u open up.

not sure why.

not that u r afraid of being laughed at.

may be u urself arent sure whether the current world, at this moment, really needs it !

but u always ponder about , searching for those who might empathize and possibly pass the message forward.


should be enough for those whom i m writing, rest really are of no concern.



Have been relishing the 'conventional life' lately, which currently in my case can be defined by work-->party-->work .. but finally, after a month or so, got to do what i love the most, and probably do the best.

its sunday, 6am in the morning, just finished the movie 'The Lake House'.

a real artistic display of complex emotions, really awesome direction.

and as most of the greatest of my SEEN movies, this also was a result of the 'peek-a-boo strategy', i unknowingly, unwantedly apply to the movies i have heard gud of, but my 1st impression bars me from giving it a full fledged go.

so i started with BROWSING the movie and jumped to its 75th minute.

the concept is simple: the movie is started at any random minute and the previous missed has to be understood/imagined/assumed.
now if a movie is gud enough to hold my attention if i start it at the 75th minute, then bingo!, u got 1, now its time to see how much of ur sight matches that of the director's.

that stint lasted till the 90th minute i think, then it was the time for the conventional way.

If u see any sense in the shit written above, do watch this one.



Lastly, no matter how much i run away from the fact that understanding a human mind is much more complex,challenging and enthralling than constructing a 'for loop', i still have to construct the loop, for its the only way i can show the world what i know, what i see.




01/06/08 6am

just a smile on the face
an air of freshness
bubbling energy all over the place
style attitude with dumbness

with past in the mind
in search of a solution
a single look does the bind
the fool meets the dumb

fool tries the best
dumb handles the rest
fool thinks of giving up
dumb realises the make-up

dumb meets care
the seed of love
even though unaware
the power is all above

world lives in a limbo of its own
clever enough to find
arguable reasons , the backbone
to its practical escapist mind

love knocks , but no
u dont have to show
dont feel even, dont bow
sry , emotions cant flow

feels have their way
sometimes u reason u dont want
but still u obey
even though the same world might taunt

fool thinks a lot
dumb listens a lot
fool has the self
dumb has the world

dumb realises self with fool
but thinks world > self
if u really wanna rule
know self , rest ll take care of itself

power of love
is its absence
and remember
it touches only once
u ll need luck
for it to come back
ALL THE BEST .

THE 'Y'


to live , is to survive

to survive , is to grow

to grow , is to know passion

to know passion , is to love

to realize love , is to search

to search , is to find Y

to find Y , is to be true

to be true , Y might be hell

but surely , ignorance is death


to live , is to make choices
make the choice , know ur Y .


11:30 am
16-04-08

to know abt Toohey , refer http://somewheresomethingwentwrong.blogspot.com/

The Tooheys coming into limelight has inspired me to put light on another character involved in this game . Lets call this character X .

This X is a Toohey s creation , no doubt .
Creation in the sense that the power and the position of X which force him into the scene , wouldnt have been possible without the old Toohey s hand over him.

In the beginning , thr wasnt much common between the 2 .
Toohey just groomed his best possible shot at power and X followed him as Toohey s ambitions were a superset of his own .

So , the 1st part of the story ends as X rises to power .
And with him , so does Toohey , as per Toohey s own figuring .

But then the twist .

Even Toohey , with all his experience and canniness , overlooked the point that choosing his best chance amongst the given , he chose some1 with some of his independent self left .

The 2nd part begins , where X forces his ways over Toohey s .

Toohey s reach and powers are limited as X thinks on changing everything that doesnt fit into his thinking , his idols , his logic .
He faces a lot of resistance from the Toohey camp but X fights for the bigger picture .

Meanwhile Toohey remains calm . He waits patiently for the next spin of coin .


And here the concluding part begins , the elections arrive , and X and Toohey once again come face to face , in opposite camps this time .

Toohey being the master in this game , sets about his work .

X tries to follow his own idealistic ways and soon realises Toohey s dominance in his own dirt.

With the time closing on and seeing the probable loss , X loses his self , and retorts to Toohey s ways of doing things .

Of course Toohey groomed him. He knew exactly how the game is played . It was just the question of values .

In the midst of all that was happening , X loses his own idols , plays Toohey for a short while , defeats Toohey in his own game .

X is crowned as the new kingpin .

Smiles all around .

Doubts all around .

" When a man gives up his values, he necessarily gives up that with which he formed them—his own thinking. His life is then empty, devoid of meaning and purpose, and he is incapable of internal direction. "

But mind u , 1 Toohey is down .


08-04-08

LATEST :)

# lost , white , spark , troubles , mist

# frusst , definite , CS , despair , sleep , hope



for u my dear reader :

# thought , truth , realisation , fear , fake , ignorance

normally hazy
always buzy
greed of knowing all
might eventually bring the fall
the dreams , the desire
the time , not fair
some advice , a priority queue
wont work , hope they knew
more of a linked list
cant jump, skipping the imp least
the frustration , the cry
the fight , the try
the sleep , the sickness
a disease , a bless
symptoms , an escapist
dont hide , fight the mist
the path , certainly not clear
stick to the base, look for the cure.


01-04-08

love to travel , specially by a train

the window seat , the view from its pane

the journey is tiring , normally a pain

be observant enough , lots to gain

feel ur LIFE , through those windows

each tree going by , a passing phase

the stations , moments our destiny allows

to step down from the flow , n check the base

the parallel running tracks , never rest

hinting there's always , an alternate way

the driver decides , which 1s the best

listen to the heart , where the direction lay

the lonely dark woods , wherever u stare

the plight of the world , nobody to care

but stare long enough , at any particular slope

u ll see a twinkle , the existence of hope

18-03-08